Many people view this as the ultimate form of betrayal. Infidelity : Again, infidelity is an example of betrayal that can trigger trust issues.But what are the most common examples of these wrongdoings that lead to trust issues? Those with trust issues isolate themselves from others and feel lonely or depressed as a result.Įarlier, we said that trust issues are often caused by an act of betrayal, abandonment, or manipulation. People with trust issues are extremely cautious and suspicious of everyone they meet. Those with trust issues are quick to make a big deal out of nothing - it’s the end of the world if someone makes the slightest mistake. They refuse to forgive (even the smallest mistakes).No matter how much they care for someone, people with trust issues refuse to commit. People with trust issues decide it’s best to limit their relationships to avoid betrayal or abandonment. Those with trust issues are usually very protective of their loved ones, out of fear that they will become disloyal. People with trust issues often assume someone will betray them soon enough, despite how honest they have been in the past. Those with trust issues assume someone has betrayed their trust even if they have no rightful reasoning. Here are additional signs and symptoms of trust issues: To recap what we said earlier: When someone has trust issues, they have an extremely difficult time trusting others - and often because someone has betrayed their trust in the past. What Are Trust Issues and What Are the Signs of Trust Issues? However, sometimes we aren’t certain who to trust, how much to trust, and when not to trust. It’s how we subjectively measure the integrity and honesty of others - those who can be counted on to do what is right. Trust is the belief in the reliability and truth of another person. But first, let’s start from the beginning: What exactly is trust? What Is Trust? If you’re struggling with trust issues, you can work to trust again by following a few steps. And most (if not all) struggle to overcome their trust issues. Many people can pinpoint the event or relationship in question, but others struggle. Or, in other words, you have trust issues. And as a result, you struggle to trust others. If you’re reading this, it’s possible that someone you trusted - a partner, a parent, or even a doctor - mistreated you or let you down. And this fear is often triggered as a result of betrayal (such as infidelity), abandonment (think: leaving a child or foregoing a relationship with them), or manipulation (for example, dishonesty or gaslighting ). Most survivors of betrayal trauma can have a mixture of these symptoms.Trust issues are characterized by fear of betrayal, abandonment, or manipulation. The symptoms of betrayal trauma include significant levels of fear, anxiety, confusion, flashbacks, headaches, body pain, nightmares, GI instability, hyper-vigilance, anger, lack of motivation, tension, insomnia, withdrawal from social contact, and loneliness. Yet, with each round of new detail or insight, the grief twists and turns and comes back around and leaves you wondering if life will ever be the way it was again. You fluctuate between feeling shock, murderous rage, sadness, loss, and sporadic hope that things will get better. One memory at a time reveals the depth of the deceit. Now you realize the person you trusted the most manipulated your reality to keep them from getting caught in their lies and betrayals.Īs the avalanche of feelings spills over you, each discovery of unfaithfulness changes your reality. RELATED: How Betrayal Changes Your Heart Forever 4. In your kindness, you gave your spouse the benefit of grace and didn’t challenge their inconsistencies. Multiple omissions and lies will bubble up and expose your new reality. Or, when your spouse was supposed to pick your daughter up from school, then didn’t show up, and the school called you instead. You may remember events like a time on vacation when your spouse disappeared for two hours and had a flimsy excuse. Often, one betrayal triggers years and years of more betrayals in your life - from exes, family, friends, and coworkers - that you have disregarded or ignored. Your spouse decided to act out without coming to you and sharing their feelings, desires, or longings. You did not step out on your marriage vows. The reality of betrayal is that you couldn’t have prevented it. You think, “If only I had done… not done… said… not said…” You get the idea. You make excuses, and maybe you even blame yourself. You don’t want the discovery of the betrayal to be true. Initially, betrayal trauma starts as a shock.
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